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I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE
one song to the tune of another - explained

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fine oil painting analogy
A song is like a fine oil painting. The canvas represents the tune on to which is laid the paint, or words. Famous artists of old would frequently over paint their works with new images, or in our terms replace the words in the song. Vincent Van Gogh repainted his works time and again over many years and this obsessive compulsive behaviour is symptomatic of Van Gogh’s troubled psyche. And we all know what happened to him in the end. But what could possibly prompt people to cut off their own ears? At the piano …

fishing analogy
Songs are like a trawler net and its haul of fish. The net represents the melody scooping up the fish, or words, which together represent the complete song. However at intervals the net, i.e. the tune, is emptied of its fish, i.e. the words, which are replaced by a fresh haul, i.e. different words. Now I know exactly what the teams are thinking - what does i.e. mean? And what about protected fish? Certain species such as the Blue Fin Tuna face extinction. Just one more than your quota could cost you a penalty fine, and why waste money on a Tuna when no one will notice the difference anyway? At the piano …

flat analogy
It is a game so simple in construction explaining it would be an insult to intelligent people. A song is very similar to a one bedroom flat for rent in Croydon. The flat represents the tune whereas the tenant represents the lyrics. Any number of tenants, or lyrics, can pass through the flat, or tune, over the course of a year. However, when the estate agent turns up to show the property, or tune, to a new tenant, or lyrics, he usually arrives late, looks like he has slept in his car, and although he has a choice of 12 possible keys he can never find the right one. At the piano …

freudian analogy
It is not nearly as complex as it sounds as all of you who study the work of Sigmund Freud will appreciate. For the purposes of psycho-analysis Freud divided the personality, or in our terms the song, into two components - these are the ego comprising moral values which is so obviously analogous to the tune, and the id which unconsciously contains primitive emotions and therefore equates exactly to the words. The personality, or song, steers between the two trying to reconcile and balance their conflicting demands against the constraints of the real world. Freud did prove that the ego and the id can be adjusted and modified through behavioural therapy, or in our terms literally by singing one song to the tune of another.

However, I should point out that Freud’s theories also conclude that the repression of sexuality often leads an infantile penis substitution fixation, or in our terms Colin Sell is at the piano again.

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