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I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE
one song to the tune of another - explained

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train analogy
How can I explain this simply? Imagine teams that a tune is like a train, carrying the passengers who represent the words, although these days we have to call them customers. The passengers, or customers, who are the words, might get off the train, say for example, to get on the bus, which we call another tune. So you can easily see that while the bus represents a different tune, it could still carry the same passengers, or customers, or in this case the words.

Now I can see by the expressions on your faces teams, you are wondering about the obvious question, what effect does transport privatisation have on this? Well it means that it’s actually become impossible to swap the passengers over because now the bus leaves ten minutes before the bloody train even arrives.

tree analogy
Anyone having trouble grasping this concept may care to consider a song to be like a tree. The leaves represent the words, which occasionally fall off to be replaced later by new leaves, or different words. Obviously, the discarded words don’t form a slimy layer on top of your lawn like leaves do, that is why they should be swept up and placed in a heap to be burnt on bonfire night to the accompaniment of loud bangs as the Hedgehogs explode. Now I come to think of it, there is no record of a few song lyrics ever causing an express train to sit outside Tunbrige Wells station for 9 hours at a time, not that you would think leaves on the line would be such a problem these days, so few trains actually seem to stay on them.

I can guess what you are thinking - what kind of species of tree is this? Is it an Elder? Is is an Ash? You could try asking a so called expert, but in all likelihood he wouldn’t know his Ash from his Elder. At the piano Colin Sell.

trouser analogy
Probably the easiest way to understand this is to think of a song as a pair of trousers. The trousers represent the words which are carried along by the legs, or tune. Periodically the trousers, or words, might be replaced with a different pair, and this is the clever part because often they aren’t the same length and then the words don’t quite fit the tune. “But” I hear you retort, “isn’t there extra material at the hem which can be used to add length? And how far can you go - could you extend a pair of football shorts to the ankle?” You could but it would be the biggest let down ever. At the piano Colin Sell.

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