garden or bedroom
When asked about the subject of gardens, the legendary wit Oscar Wilde famously
remarked “Nope, I’ve got nothing on gardens.” In this round the teams come up
with examples of phrases likely to be overheard both in the garden and in the
Join the teams in the potting shed where they are ready to take phone
in questions from well known gardeners (usually about anything but
The only downside to this gardening question and answer session is that Tim
knows virtually nothing about gardening. We were saying earlier he has no
idea what time of year you should prune your Chlamydia. So the other team
members have agreed to help Tim to answer tricky questions from any one of the
nation’s top gardeners.
panellist has to gargle a tune or song. Do not try this at home without trained
medical people present.
In this round the teams are asked questions on local sayings and
folklore. The Chairman provides them with the opening lines from a selection of
local expressions for them to complete.
This round is inspired by the television programme Goggle Box, in the same the
Hatton Garden gang recently inspired £70million of diamonds. The Chairman asks
the teams to take turns sitting on his imaginary sofa while watching television.
However, the opposing team is unable to see what show they are watching and
their challenge is to guess the identity of the TV show from the comments alone.
is a game subtly adapted from morning television by adding the word Radio, and
changed beyond all recognition by adding the word Good. The teams alternate as
interviewers and guests on a breakfast chat show. As you would expect of the
genre, the job of the interviewers is to prevent their guest from saying
anything of interest. Points will be awarded to guests for any interesting
information they manage to slip in.
Everyone knows this one don’t they?
Whilst Humphrey was queuing in his
local newsagents, behind seventeen people who weren’t going to win the
lottery that week, his eye fell upon the amazingly wide range of celebrity
interview magazines. One area that has been inexplicably overlooked by the
likes of Hello! Magazine is the celebrity funeral. With this in mind,
the programme has launched Goodbye! Magazine, and the teams are asked
to suggest articles, photos, captions, and other showbiz funeral related items
that might fill the pages of the first edition.
This game combines the thespian art of theatrical drama with the
heady excitement of steeple chase racing, but without a repeat of the
unfortunate incident the last time acting was combined with horse racing -
someone told Barry Cryer to break a leg and he
had to be taken out and shot. Luckily the bullet hit Barry’s
wallet - and missed his heart by eight miles. The teams join forces is a
read through of a play which in the opinion of the Chairman, as a one time
critic, has been inclined to drag in conventional productions. To speed things
up the teams will attempt their performance in the style of horse racing
The Chairman asks the panellists to suggest ways to improve the
British sporting record by either modifying existing sports or devising new
the great wireless bake off
TV cookery competitions are a runaway success at the moment so it was thought it
was time for a radio version. But first the teams needed some instruction in
culinary skills. Luckily, in addition to his acting work, Miles Jupp is also a
chef specialising in less common meat dishes which he offered to demonstrate. So
this morning he brought in some venison and taught us to cook. The venison was
tender but the tortoise was a bit rubbery. One team is given the name of a dish
to bake and the other team has to guess what it is.
The Chairman asks the teams for to suggest occasions which are in
need of special greetings cards, together with the appropriate messages they
This will hopefully be a less messy follow up to the old game called
Guess Who Should Have Gone Before the Show. In Guess Who’s
Gone the teams will be blindfolded and then one of the group will leave
the stage. The object of the game, Guess Who’s Gone, is to guess