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I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE
games compendium

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one man and his dog
Following the axing of One Man and His Dog from BBC 2, the show secured the rights to the radio format. The teams in turn get to herd their sheep.

one song to the tune of another
In this game the panellists have to sing one song to the tune of another. I know this sounds complicated but it is far simpler than it sounds if you follow the explanations.

There are a number of similar sounding games frequently confused with One Song to the Tune of Another. They are:
one thong to the tune of another
A similar but unsuccessful version following Chris Eubank and Roy Hattersley nearly drowning after three verses of Sing a Song of Sixpence.
one song to the tune of the same song
Played by Andrew Lloyd Webber.
one tune to the song of another
Involves the teams singing a selection of numbers while accompanist Colin Sell sucks on a menthol decongestant tablet.

one word at a time songs
When it comes to song writing, famously nothing rhymes with orange. Thankfully one of the many reasons why we’ll never see Katie Price, the Musical. In this round each team performs a song together but alternating the words of the song.

on-line reviews
Audience feedback is vital for any comedian. Scouring the Internet for review of fellow comedians, the Chairman found this review of Andy Hamilton’s one man show: “Our daughter bought us the tickets, and when he walked on the stage within seconds he had my husband and I in tears,” - ahhhh, and it continues - “we thought the tickets were for Hamilton, the musical.”

A selection of on-line reviews are read out and the teams job is to guess precisely what it is that is being reviewed.

only connect
This is a version of the fine TV panel game Only Connect. As you would expect it is all about making connections, the task being to suggest a word which logically follows the previous words.

opening lines
The Chairman provides the teams with a brief résumé of a book title and from that information they have to write what they think are the opening lines. Points are awarded for technical accuracy, literary impression, and spilling.

overlooked correspondence
Long before the age of e-mail and texting there existed many ingenious forms of communication. In the 20th century the Aldus Lamp was developed to flash Morse Code instructions between ships, with the result that one foggy night in December a British destroyer found itself taking orders from the Bismarck’s Christmas disco lights and set off to attack the YMCA.

Our knowledge of history is enriched by the private correspondence between the good and the great. One recalls the famous letter from Napoleon to Josephine on the eve of the battle of Leipzig. As he desired to enjoy her in her natural state Napoleon implored Josephine not to wash until he got home - something he lived to regret when he returned from prison 17 years later.

The teams delve in search of overlooked correspondence, and share the contents of any letters or cards which had been delivered might have changed the course of history.

own brand condoms
This is all about condoms, or as they are called in Birmingham — Canal Trout. The financial rigours of lock down have forced businesses to adapt in order to survive. For example, Weatherspoons have partnered with Deliveroo to bring the full Weatherspoons experience to your doorstep. For as little as £5 you will receive a pint, a pizza, and an unprovoked punch in the face. Of course it gets more expensive after 10am.

In anticipation of the predicted rise in sexual activity during lock down many High Street retailers and other well known brands decided to manufacture and market their own condoms, but without changing their usual advertising strap lines. The teams are asked to provide examples of some of these famous new brand condoms together with their accompanying advertising slogans.

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