Each team is given a punch line of a story. One team starts telling a story with the aim of finishing with their punch line. When the Chairman blows his horn the other team picks up the story and adapts it towards their punch line. This continues until one team manages to deliver their punch line.
The Chairman asks general knowledge questions on the sayings and folk wisdom of that country, giving the first part for the panellists to complete.
taxi or bedroom new!
Britain’s most famous taxi driver is Fred Housego, the London cabby who won
Mastermind in 1980. After a shaky start on his specialist subject Fred scored
maximum points in the general knowledge round after turning the black chair
around and answering the questions over his left shoulder. In this round the
teams are asked to come up with examples of things to be overheard in both a
taxi and a bedroom.
telephone support line
One team are manning the telephone for a topical business, the other team are
dissatisfied customers complaining about the goods or service provided and are
demanding their money back. The first team must explain why are not entitled to
tell an amusing joke
The teams are asked to tell a few amusing jokes. The Chairman provides each player with a suitable subject. The first panellist will start, but when the Chairman blows his horn the next should take over but cleverly twisting the joke to suit his allocated subject, and so on. The winner is the first to reach their punch line.
the today programme
One team is asked to be the Today Programme’s presenters interviewing the other team who are two expert guests.
theatre or bedroom
The world of theatre is one of superstition and ritual. As you all know many
actors refer only to the Scottish play believing any mention of Macbeth is
likely to mean a disastrous performance will ensue. And similarly many
superstitious theatre managers ban any mention of an evening with Fred Macaulay
for exactly the same reason. In this round the teams have to come up with
examples of phrases likely to be overheard both in the theatre and the bedroom.
As something of a student of theatrical art the chairman has been recently examining the various theories of who really wrote Shakespeare’s plays. Conspiracy theorists point out that there is no mention of Shakespeare’s writings in his will which bequeathed to Anne Hathaway only his bed on his death. Whereas in fact neighbours in Stratford said they distinctly heard him give her the complete works some time before. The teams are provided a selection of sound effects to colour their dramatic piece as they see fit.
things that have never been said
A round the chairman has been looking forward too all week, it is very funny, he
hopes it never ends - sorry teams, he started without you. The teams
are asked for suggestions of statements that have never been made and are never
likely to be.
through the keyhole
TBC - Editor.
toff’s radio times
Samantha as been doing some domestic work for a local family of aristocrats who
have provided lodgings at the village pub. Samantha says she finds the work
exhausting and always looks forward to putting her legs up around the Duke’s
Head of an evening. The teams are asked for suggestions of programmes that
might be listed in an edition of the Radio Times aimed at the posh, the rich,
and the aristocracy.
too many cooks
The panellists have to suggest programmes with food in the title likely to appeal to commissioning editors.
topical garden tips
This is a tribute to Gardeners Question Time. It recently marked 65 years on air
with an audience of invited celebrities. Barry Cryer went along but they said it
was for invited celebrities. In this weeks Jack’s Topical Garden Tips he demonstrates the art of topiary. He will start pruning and there is a
bonus point for the first panellist who can tell him what it is he is shaping.
tossing the penny
This was a firm East Anglian favourite in the 18th Century and according to the government census of 1781, the county of Essex is recorded as having more world class tossers than anywhere else in the kingdom. In Tossing the Penny, pennies, known as toss pennies, are cast at a hole, known as the toss penny hole, drilled in a chair, known as the chair with a hole in it. The falling pennies are caught in a receptacle placed beneath the chair, known as the toss pot. The game is best played with suitably heavy Victorian pennies which the teams take from special sealed containers where they have lain undisturbed for years, known as their wallets. The first team to get rid of all their coins are the winners, and toss their coins alternately.
Panellists are asked to give a tour of famous UK landmarks to groups of foreigners.
trail of the lonesome pun
A poor choice of title can spell doom for any creative project. Witness the very
poor take-up among psychoanalysts of Sigmund Freud’s first published paper on
the Oedipus complex You Ain’t Half Hot Mum. The people whose job it is to come
up with ideas for radio and TV shows can be remarkably lazy with their programme
titles so the teams are asked to share examples of programmes where the content
has been contrived to suit what someone thought would make a clever title.
This round looks at the world of computer technology. The Chairman relies on
Google for just about everything, particularly for finding his way around
London. Last week he asked Google “what is the quickest way to Turnham Green?” Apparently it’s cheap copper genital piercings. The latest thing he has
discovered on his laptop is a translation service. You just type in a foreign
phrase and the computer will pronounce it for you, it will even provide the
meaning. this gave him the idea for this round. Google Translate is asked to
read out a foreign phrase with the teams asked to provide the translation.
The Chairman gives the panellists a foreign word or phrase for them to translate.
Looking for interesting ideas for presents to enjoy at home with the family, this is an exciting new board game which test its players to the limits with interesting general knowledge questions about hair. Everyone starts by placing their counters on the first square, except for Graeme who under the circumstances is allowed a head start.
TBC - Editor.
We launch ourselves into a new series in troubled times. Such is the poor state of out economy, swingeing cutbacks and redundancies are even hitting employment numbers in broadcasting. Jobs deemed no longer necessary include the You and Yours Awards speech writer, Dale Winton’s Ronseal artist, and Chris Tarrant’s entire team of sincerity wranglers. With programs thus pared to the bone the chairman asks the teams for cut price versions of popular films or shows for TV or radio which may be made under such constraints.
This round is inspired by those themed Channel 4 seasons that tackled taboo subjects. Explicit programmes have recently included drug abuse, weird culty religions and non-stop kinky sex - and that was just one episode of Brookside. The teams are asked to come up with suggestions for titles of challenging films and other programmes likely to fill a late night Channel 4 season on a theme given by the Chairman.