I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T
A CLUE
games compendium
w
waltzing
colin The panellists sing some well known songs in Waltz time.
warning
signs With insurance claims and safety measures in mind, the teams are
asked to share any warning signs they may have spotted recently.
we wish you a merry
cliffness A festive version of One Song to the Tune of
Another. The Chairman selects a collection of seasonal tunes, recorded by
the great man himself, to be played by the traditional rules.
welsh
proverbs The Chairman reads out the opening lines of a series of proverbs
translated from the mediaeval Welsh for the teams to complete.
welsh quote
unquote This is similar to the English version but with the vowels taken out.
There is a long history of the English maligning the Welsh in prose and verse.
This atrocious piece of writing dates from the 18th century
Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief; Taffy came to my house, and
stole a piece of beef.
That
really is indefensible, I have a good mind to rewrite it - whose got my
pen? Rob, have you got my pen? The teams are asked to complete some quotations
from Welsh celebrities.
west country
weather rhymes and proverbs In 2003 the Met Office moved
from Bracknell to Exeter. The opening ceremony was attended by legendary
weatherman Michael Fish who planted a sapling, and then knocked it over. In a
recent report by Which magazine comparing the accuracy of weather forecasting
stations the Met Office came 9th of twelve, one place above the BBC and one
place below sticking your head out the window.
In this
round the Chairman reads out the first part of some genuine West country
weather rhymes and sayings, and the teams job is to correctly finish them
off.
what’s the
connection? The Chairman makes random selections from his bumper book of lists,
and the teams have to guess what the people or items might have in
common.
what’s the
problem? This round deals with life’s great questions. For example if
you work at Holland & Barret how do you call in sick? In this
round the Chairman supplies the answers to a number of everyday problems posed
by readers, and the teams task is to guess what the original question might
have been.
what’s the
question? Based on Channel 4’s 15-to-1 quiz show. Here the
Chairman provides the correct answer to a selection of fascinating general
knowledge questions which the panellists have to guess.
What’s the
Question? is occasionally confused with the amusing party game played by
French Philosophers, What is A Question? French Philosophers are fun
people very fond of party games. Favourites include I Spy Therefore I
Am, Deconstruct the Parcel, and Pin the Tail on the
Externalised Image of the Long-eared Quadruped.
what’s your
game? This game will be of interest to listeners with young children.
Incidentally, the chairman was discussing the smacking debate with the teams
earlier - he remembers nanny repeatedly pulling his trousers down to give
him a good smack on the bottom, and it never did him any harm. Although it did
make him late getting getting to the show that afternoon. In this game, one
team plays a game of their own invention while the other team attempts to guess
what it is called.
what happens
next? The chairman plays recordings of well known sporting events and the
teams simple have to tell him what happens next.
what is time mr.
wolf? The game is based on the old favourite What’s the Time Mr.
Wolf , a simple and entertaining pleasure in which young children are
threatened with being eaten by a large predatory canine wearing a wristwatch.
This is a dumbed up version of the game in which the teams will ask questions
on the very nature of Time itself. The Wolf in our game is none other than the
eminent Professor of bioengineering Heinz Wolff.
what's the
youth It's no secret that Radio 4’s audience are so old that they
think In Our Time is a current affairs show. So to conform with BBC
policy, and in an attempt to turn the tide, the teams are asked to suggest
youth oriented introductions to Radio 4 programmes.
the wheel of
chance On the board there are twenty different categories and the Chairman
asks the contestants to spin the big wheel. Where ever the big pointer lands
they must answer a question on that topic.
where am
i? In
this round each team has to magically transport the Chairman to a mystery
location by the use of mere sound affects alone.
where’s the
gents? The Chairman asks where are the gents?
who am
i? A
post-it note is attached to each panellist’s forehead with the name of a
certain famous person written on it. Each panellist can ask up to a maximum of
20 yes/no type questions to find out who they are. Next time they will try the
other version with the names written on the outside.
who do you think
they are? Is this round the teams are asked to introduce less well known but no
less remarkable figures.
who wants to be in
finisterre? Based on ITV’s Who Wants to be a Millionaire show.
Panellists are asked questions about the shipping forecast.
whose
dustbin? The chairman has especially commissioned a team of researchers to
take the dustbins from outside of the home of certain celebrities or
organisations. The object of the game is to identify the bin’s owner by
careful examination of its contents. Actually, Tim
Brooke-Taylor may be at something of an advantage here as he spent some
time working for Reading council as a dustman researching his next role -
as a dustman for Reading council.
why i shop at
waitrose Waitrose recently launched a social media campaign in which shoppers
were encouraged to complete the sentence ‘I shop at Waitrose
because
’ In the interest of commercial balance it should be
pointed out that Lidl undertook a similar exercise encouraging their customers
to complete a variety of sentences too. But that mainly involved keeping their
heads down on E-wing. The teams are asked to suggest how to complete the
sentence ‘I shop at Waitrose because
’
the wilhelm
scream This round is based on the most famous scream in cinema history. It
is named after the character Private Wilhelm who gets shot by an arrow in a
1953 Western called the Charge at Feather Rock, and has been featured
in over 225 films and TV episodes. The second most famous scream in cinema
history is called the Revels scream, it is named after anyone pays £9.50
for a bag of Revels at a cinema. In this round it is the job of the teams to
present the Chairman with statements that are bound to met with the Wilhelm
scream. If the Chairman agrees he plays it in.
wink murder
mystery This round is based on a Victorian parlour game. During the 19th
century the British upper classes had more leisure time than previous
generations so were interested in frivolous diversions, with the most popular
being Hunt the Thimble, Blind Mans Buff, and Crown Rule
in India.
In this
party favourite each player secretly draws a card and the player with the ace
of spades is the murderer. The players then sit around until the murderer
strikes by winking, unseen by anyone else, at the victim and the victim dies
horribly. The remaining players must then try to identify the murderer who
keeps on eliminating players with a secret wink.
word for
word One
team member starts by uttering a word drawn from a selection limited only by
his imagination. His team mate should then say a word completely unconnected
with the one before. The opposing team may challenge if they notice a
connection.
work
appraisals This round is about disasters in the work place. A bad decision can
ruin a business, for example local knowledge is vital - that is why
Richard Branson’s wedding shop, Virgin Brides, didn’t work
in Sheffield. This is an improvised round in which one team are the bosses and
the other team are members of staff in for an appraisal following a series of
unfortunate incidents at work for which they appear to be responsible. As the
bosses list these various cock ups and disasters the staff members should
attempt to justify themselves, and the round ends when either staff member
takes responsibility or when the bosses accept the staff's explanation.
worst
sellers There is nothing worse than badly written English to make
Humphrey’s goat boil. The teams are
asked for suggestions for book titles that fail to hit the mark.
worst things to
hear It’s all about those little phrases you might inadvertently
overhear and immediately wish you hadn’t. One that instantly that springs
to mind is And now an extended edition of You and Yours.
wuthering
hillocks The teams are asked to suggest low budget remakes of popular books
and films.
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